what i'm reading§
"Tank and Chamber" by Jeff Nagy§
Jonathan Badeen, the Tinder ex-CSO who invented swiping, was inspired to make the compulsive UI feature by studying Skinner’s pigeons. Skinner once said on Firing Line that he’d never use his methods to design fiendishly addictive slot machines, although he was perfectly capable of it. The engineers of platform capitalism have no such scruples. You’re probably holding one of these slot machines right now, maybe even reading these words on it.
In my last weekly post I brought up psychedelics and dolphins in my book club's discussion of Mary Oliver but couldn't remember who I was talking about. Then an n+1 article arrived to remind me: John Lilly. What a freak.
what i'm listening to§
Cloud Nothings§
My therapist tipped me off that Cloud Nothings had secret albums in 2020. I haven't gotten around to listening to them but the conversation reminded me that I think "Modern Act" is one of the best songs ever.
what i'm watching§
Mountainhead (2025)§
The guys in this movie are too handsome not nearly annoying enough.
heated rivalry§
The guys in this show are too handsome and not nearly perverted enough.
I went into this knowing I would hate it, but part of me wondered-- am I just bitter because of my childhood devoid of queer representation, my fetid teen years and adult heartbreaks? If I open myself up, will I find some part of myself in this tepid yaoislop?
The answer was no. There's almost nothing redeeming about this show. They forgot to give any of the characters personalities; they're just slabs of pale man-meat giving each other dry handies. The degree to which they sidelined the brown characters to make room and support the white boys is downright 2000's. One of the white gays has a Black gay bear friend who calls him "baby" and plans his birthday party and the white gay chooses his mirror-image hockey fag who refuses to be seen in public with him.
The best moment for me was when the hockey fag makes a grand coming-out gesture by bringing his secret boyfriend out to kiss on the ice after Winning The Big Game, and the only thing the announcer can say is "...Big night for hockey!"
what i'm playing§
"Let Lie." by Carrioff§
MAL: Do you wonder...
I turned to him.
MAL: ...what they're thinking about?
MAL: Or if they think at all?
MAL: Or are they just... reacting to stimuli?
MAL: ...Just doing what their instincts tell them to.
We both watched on as a shark roamed past, shadowing the both of us for just a moment
ME: I don't know
ME: And I don't think the fish know either
You think this is going to be a sci-fi thriller about the concept of "p-zombies" and the selfhood of artificial intelligence-- and it is, partially. But it's also an oppressively atmospheric political drama where the human protagonist's humanity is under just as much scrutiny as the bots'. I really loved the synth soundtrack and the melancholy 'love' story. It felt validating as both a robotfucker and an incorrigible doomer.
what i'm working on§
rewriting my site from the ground up§
as a programmer it's my duty to keep alive the time-honored tradition of digging myself into an intractable hole of tech debt and then saying "i'll just completely re-write it, but better". i wanted 1 (one) new feature for my site but was disgusted all the sloppy handiwork I had to sift through to try to implement it. so i've scraped it all out so i can slop it all up again.
something i liked§
I owe you something yummy to eat!!!§
I delivered a quick turn-around on some edits to a video for a coworker and they responded back saying "I owe you something yummy to eat!!!". This is the kind of feedback I want.
something i hated§
css bait-and-switch§
learning about css features like attr() andcounter() got my gears turning with their potential-- getting arbitrary values from the HTML and assigning indexes implicitly opens up a lot of space to play. But it turns out you can't calc() either of those.
I just feel kinda dumb. Other people have made full-fledged puzzle boxes and clicker games in just HTML/CSS. I struggle to make something wiggle if you hover on it.
a picture:§
it's skee mask compro as fuck out