what i'm reading:
PPM Act 0
An interactive fiction by one of my favorite artists and furry historians, Glavo Lilio. PPM fleshes out the world occupied by one of their illustrations: an anthro person fitted with a gas mask with tubes leading to a backpack. It splits the difference between sci-fi and pragmatic, sliding into the same aesthetic niche as David Lynch's Dune.
I haven't made it very far in PPM, but I love when artists write stories within the worlds that are suggested in their illustrations.
what i'm listening to:
Blowback Season 1
Ever since I attended a 9/11-themed class at the YMCA I've been re-listening to Season 1 of Blowback about how the political class in America used 9/11 to justify violent regime change in Iraq, destabilized the region and killed many times more people than died from the 9/11 attack. I asked my dad and step-mother what they remembered about the invasion, and they said "they said Saddam had WMDs and he didn't *shrug*".
I fucking hate the unites states of america.
what i'm watching:
the works of pepoeke
"it's no surprise"
my youtube algorithm launched a direct surgical attack to get my attention. drum n' bass, furries, and gorgeous indie animation all within the same second. it's a dream come true
"ritchie's reality"
There's nothing I can say about this that Andrei Tarkovsky hasn't said better:
For an idea does not exist in art except in the images which give it form, and the image exists as a kind of grasping of reality by the will, which the artist undertakes according to his own inclinations and the idiosyncrasies of his worldview.
Sculpting in Time (pg. 57), Andrei Tarkovsky [Emphasis mine]
i'm very partial to the dragon guy who's name is 'paul' i think.
— anders (@pepoeke.bsky.social) May 1, 2025 at 5:32 PM
haha... nice. is he single.
what i'm playing
butter side down
Get him, girls.
- Mr. Lunch
fuck windows. fuck Mac. fuck linux. The only operating system I'm using from now on is BC-3.
it's hard to wrap your mind around what the gameplay loop is until you do it a few times, but it ends up very narratively satisfying (if it can be said there's a narrative). hint: wait a second for your coworkers to respond when you call them.
the whole vibe feels like a throwback to, like, 2010s era adult swim. Remember when everyone thought Too Many Cooks was the funniest shit? Do you still think it's the funniest shit? Then Butter Side Down is for you.
what i'm working on:
update on modifying my suicidal mantra: it's turned into "I'M GOING TO BLOCK MYSELF". And it's kind of fucking working.
something i liked:
honey vanilla chamomile
after work I like to unwind with an evening beverage... what? no, not alcohol 🤓. it used to be arizona but i started getting anxious about sugar. then I was educated on the delights of sparkling water. zero calories AND zero sugar but it still tastes SWEET???? awesome. Then my dentist said it might be causing the recent hyper-sensitivity in my teeth. AAAH!!! So now I'm drinking herbal tea, and honey vanilla chamomile is hitting the spot.
something i hated:
pavlovian solitaire depression inception
This week i was playing solitaire at work and my brain was just begging me to kill myself. That's pretty normal for me but it made me think about my history with solitaire. during the deepest depressive episode of my life circa 2023 all I would do after work was lay in bed, put It's Always Sunny on my laptop and play solitaire on my phone. this went on for weeks or months until I was able to get a therapist and zoloft. Until maybe this year I would have flashes of Always Sunny every time I played solitaire, but that's faded away. But I guess the depression stayed. Does this mean I can't play solitaire on the clock anymore? What else are they going to fucking take from me?
a picture:
This page from a French papercrafts book that I saw on the papercrafts board of 4chan. Why was I on 4chan? I was looking at papercrafts. Duh. What else do you use 4chan for?